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飞地APP|范静哗译2020诺奖得主露易丝·格利克 | 中英对照( 五 )


repression does not deceive
organisms like ourselves:
once you enter the earth, you will not fear the earth;
once you inhabit your terror,
death will come to seem a web of channels or tunnels like
a sponge’s or honeycomb’s, which, as part of us,
you will be free to explore. Perhaps
you will find in these travels
a wholeness that eluded you—as men and women
you were never free
to register in your body whatever left
a mark on your spirit.
飞地APP|范静哗译2020诺奖得主露易丝·格利克 | 中英对照
本文插图

?Mikalojus Konstantinas Ciurlionis丨Pisces (1907)
婚姻
他们又回到海边一个星期 ，
海水的声音映照一切 。
蓝天盈窗 ，
但海浪拍岸带来惟一的声响——
愤怒 。 愤怒于什么 。 无论是什么 ，
肯定就是他掉头的原因 。 愤怒 ， 虽说他从未对她动过手 ，
从未说过一句狠话 ， 很可能没有 。
所以要想找到答案 ， 她得另想办法 ，
也许从大海中 ， 或者从海上突然升起的
铅灰的云端 。 床单里有海水味 ，
太阳味、风味 ， 宾馆味 ， 清新中带着香甜 ，
因为床单每天都换 。
他从不费口舌 。 口舌 ， 在他看来 ， 是用来安排事情 ，
做生意的 。 从不用来泄愤 ， 从不用于柔情 。
她抹抹他后背 ， 把脸贴上去 ，
然而那就像把脸贴在墙上 。
他们之间的沉默那么古老 ， 它说 ，
这些是边界 。
他没睡 ， 甚至没有假装在睡 。
他呼吸得并不匀称：吸气时有点不情愿；
他并不想答应自己要活着 。
呼气时畅快得多 ， 就像国王要放逐臣仆 。
沉默的下面 ， 大海的声音 ，
大海的狂暴四处铺展 ， 还没结束 ， 还没结束 ，
他的呼吸驾驭着海浪——
但她明白自己到底是谁 ， 到底想要什么 。
只要这些是真切的 ， 自然的事就伤害不到她 。
Marriage
All week they’ve been by the sea again
and the sound of the sea colors everything.
Blue sky fills the window.
But the only sound is the sound of the waves pounding the shore—
angry. Angry at something. Whatever it is
must be why he’s turned away. Angry, though he’d never hit her,
never say a word, probably.
So it’s up to her to get the answer some other way,
from the sea, maybe, or the gray clouds suddenly
rising above it. The smell of the sea is in the sheets,
the smell of sun and wind, the hotel smell, fresh and sweet
because they’re changed every day.
He never uses words. Words, for him, are for making arrangements,
for doing business. Never for anger, never for tenderness.
She strokes his back. She puts her face up against it,
even though it’s like putting your face against a wall.
And the silence between them is ancient: it says
these are the boundaries.
He isn’t sleeping, not even pretending to sleep.
His breathing’s not regular: he breathes in with reluctance;
he doesn’t want to commit himself to being alive.
And he breathes out fast, like a king banishing a servant.
Beneath the silence, the sound of the sea,
the sea’s violence spreading everywhere, not finished, not finished,


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