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#心理学网#心理短片丨真正厉害的人，都戒掉了玻璃心( 三 )


电话就是不响 。 由于时差的关系 ， 我就想 ， “好吧 ， 他一定是和朋友在一起 ， 他晚点儿会打来的 。 ”
There were no cell phones then. But he didn t.
那时候也没有手机 。 但他始终没打来 。
And I began to realize that after being away for over 10 months, he no longer missed me the way I missed him.
我开始意识到 ， 在我离开十个月以后 ， 他不再像我想他那样想我了 。
I knew he would call in the morning, but that night was one of the saddest and longest nights of my life.
我知道他早上会打来 ， 但那一晚是我一生中最伤心、最漫长的一晚 。
I woke up the next morning. I glanced down at the phone, and I realized I had kicked it off the hook when pacing the day before.
第二天一早醒来 ， 我瞅了一眼电话 ， 我意识到 ， 来回踱步时我把电话线踹下来了 。
I stumbled out of bed, I put the phone back on the receiver, and it rang a second later.
我迷迷糊糊的跳下床 ， 我刚把电话插回接口 ， 一秒钟之后电话就响了 。
And it was my brother, and boy, was he pissed.
是我哥哥 ， 他可气坏了 。
It was the saddest and longest night of his life as well. Now, I tried to explain what happened,
那也是他一生中最伤心漫长的一夜 。 当我跟他解释事情的经过 ，
but he said, "I don t understand. If you saw I wasn t calling you, why didn t you just pick up the phone and call me?"
他说 ， “我不明白 。 你看我没给你打 ，你为什么不打给我呢？”
He was right. Why didn t I call him? I didn t have an answer then. But I do today, and it s a simple one: loneliness.
他说的对 。 我为什么不打给他呢？我当时无法解释 ， 但我现在明白了 ， 非常简单的原因：孤独 。
Loneliness creates a deep psychological wound, one that distorts our perceptions and scrambles our thinking.
孤独导致深重的心理创伤 ， 扭曲我们的感知能力 ， 剥夺我们的思考能力 。
It makes us believe that those around us care much less than they actually do.
它使我们相信身边的人不再在乎我们 。
It make us really afraid to reach out, because why set yourself up for rejection and heartache when your heart is already aching more than you can stand?
它使我们不敢与人联络 ， 为什么给自取其辱被拒绝呢？你的心痛的还不够多么？
I was in the grips of real loneliness back then, but I was surrounded by people all day, so it never occurred to me.
我那个时候被孤独紧紧包裹着 ， 但我总和别人在一起 ， 我自己都没意识到 。
But loneliness is defined purely subjectively. It depends solely on whether you feel emotionally or socially disconnected from those around you.
但孤独是完全从主观上定义的 。 它完全取决于你是否觉得在情绪上或是交际上和你周围的人相隔绝 。
And I did. There is a lot of research on loneliness, and all of it is horrifying.
我当时是这样的 。 我们有很多关于孤独的研究 ， 都很可怕 。
Loneliness won t just make you miserable; it will kill you. I m not kidding.
孤独不仅让你觉得凄惨 ， 它还可能致死 。 我可不是开玩笑 。
Chronic loneliness increases your likelihood of an early death by 14 percent. Fourteen percent!
长期的孤独会增加你早逝的可能性高达14%之多 。


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